younger than policemen

Younger than policemen

One of the unexpected difficulties of coming back to London, speaking perfect English if with a slight Surrey (surreh) accent, is that no one explains anything. Even when one explains that one has been away for most of the last 40 years (Surrey-speak, sorry, will switch) you will be greeted by blank looks. If you speak English, especially educated English, it is assumed that you know.

Everything gets immeasurably more complicated when you get entangled with England's pride and joy, cynosure of health systems world-wide, the National Health Service. And it is not because, seemingly, the majority of its employees are from outside the UK, for they are all very young and speak good English.

It is because the systems imposed on it fall over each other:

random people telephone you offering hospital appointments but the caller does not know what for;

your General Practioner should because s/he would have initiated it;

but s/he is not always in and may not have left notes on the surgery computer system;

sometimes you get a letter confirming the appointment you have already kept (the Post Office must be so comforted by the NHS' faith in its service);

and the results of any tests inflicted on you will be communicated electronically to your doctor's practice;

you make an appointment to get the doctor's interpretation of the results but appointments are limited to 8 minutes...

Pride & Joy

These systems are obviously designed by Very Clever People, those who have always known the answers to every examination question. They are now convinced that they also know all the questions as well as how other people should do their jobs. (It reminds me strongly of Common Agricultural Policy regulations.) There is a 'System' which has a Virtual Life; then there is Reality dealt with by the people on the ground, farmers or doctors or policemen. (In the case of the CAP it is helpful if you have been taught maths in France.)

Doctors and others, the 'health professionals' try to do the job for which they trained (keeping people alive and well). Are policemen now 'security' or 'safety' professionals? But both also have to account to the 'System' for which there is no training.

When I left London, around forty years ago, ambulances were white and police cars were blue.

Now ambulances are covered in ugly rectangles of yellow and green, with red stripes on the back. Police cars seem to be any colour as long as there is a garish colour (usually red) stripe along the side. And seldom does one see a real policeman, complete with traditional helmet, on the street. So I cannot really test my new returnee's theory: doctors are now younger than policemen.